If you don't know where you want to go...

Su-jin: "But i'm only 27. How could i be going senile?"
Dr. Lee: It's possible.
Su-jin: "So...what's going to happen to me?"

*cries 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Which is scarier? To know or not to know the answer? Su-jin's question makes me cry.

Meanwhile, February is almost over and January took forever, no? I guess many started the year joining the bandwagon when everybody said "i claim this is the year i've been waiting for". I did not follow the trend because the transition of my 2018 to 2019 was pretty much eventful, disorganized, unexpected. The year has just started and a lot has happened already. Changes let's say, which i dread to the bones! I can't enumerate one by one because it makes me overly emotional. I've always been an emotional person. I would cry easily over a sad novel, or a sad movie, or a sad story someone has told me.

Now, let's go back to Su-jin's story. Her case was helpless. The doctor adds...

"soon you won't be able to type or answer the phone, let alone organize things. Pretty much nothing. You will forget your family, friends and even yourself. All your memories will disappear completely."

The movie "A Moment to Remember" was about a young couple whose love was challenged when Su-jin was diagnosed with a rare form of Alzheimer's disease.

That was cruel 😫. If you know what's goin to happen and nothing can be done about it, everyday will feel miserable. If you have no idea what's coming, maybe everyday will feel miserable as well.

When i went to university, i had to stay at a boarding house, away from home, away from the comfort zone, away from my granny. "What's going to happen to me?". I never had a concrete answer. Days, weeks, months, years passed by. I never knew the answer but i was able to get through everyday like how did i do that? Still alive! Fast forward to the present, same question, and i still don't know the answer.

People wait for someone or something or the unknown. It could be a dream job, "the right one", a trip to a dream destination, a lottery jackpot, a diploma. Sometimes it's okay not to know the answers. Cliché as it is, everything will fall into place...not now, maybe not soon, but eventually.

P.S. It's hard to convince myself but i hope this works for others.