It feels foreign that i'm hitting the "new post" button again after being on hiatus for over a month. I think i kind of forgot that i do write sometimes. Or should i just give credits to my being lazy, or my usual fragmented thoughts that's not worth sharing. Or i could actually explain here a little. The past weeks have been quite busy. The work, the team building, weekend nights out, plans plans plans, this and that.
When i write it's usually out of plan to do so or when there's a sudden urge to do it, but today i am writing bcoz there's something i wanna tell myself. I don't know yet what it is...it's in progress. You know writing helps you realize some things, clarifies things, changes your perception about certain things, or just lifts the weight off of your head. So technically i'm writing not out of inspiration but to find a solution to something. It is also for me to see how updated i am with my own life. I feel like a lot has been happening lately, but do i respond slowly to change or do i refuse to accept what's new? That i don't know.
It's the last Sunday of July, unbelievably.
And in November it's goin to be my second year here in KSA. The past 21 months have impacted me a lot. When i remember the day i got on the plane and realized that i had to be by myself for 2 years, i feel emotional. It's a mixture of sadness and loneliness and homesickness, and at the same time happiness. Naturally anyone would feel homesick being away from home and the family. Now I'm about 10 weeks away from my vacation, thus explains the happiness. For so many reasons. I think i'm a totally different person now than 2 years ago. I mean in some ways i'm still the same crazy sister that my brothers used to love, the same cry baby and stubborn daughter that my parents always understood, the same sweet Rish that my old friends used to know hehehe. But in a positive sense, i've become a new Rish. Being away from the parents, who have always been my eyes, arms, and feet, i thought i would never survive. But for "sending me away", i thank them for that.
Dear mother and father, i still rely on you on so many things, but i tell you, i have learned so so much in life π.
I've become more independent now.
I find it easier now to decide on certain things on the spot.
I have become emotionally and mentally stronger.
I have become financially literate.
I have become more patient.
I can now boil an egg and make ramyeon. In short i can make my own meal.
I have widened my social circle (i hope you are proud), i have become closer with my siblings (we keep in touch regularly now), i have learned dental assisting!
I have met wonderful and amazing people. They have touched my life greatly and i really appreciate them.
And too many to mention...
Sorry that it's quite a long intro when i just wanted to write this tsc.
Currently I am...
Reading
The 1987 Constitution of the Republic of the Philippines. It's good to have some knowledge about the supreme law, but honestly it's something i and most of the citizens don't really give attention to or care about. Reading it coz facebook keeps on reminding me of my "saved posts".
Writing
this post, and the possible itinerary for vacation. The thought of having a vacation should excite me, however i am apprehensive and i just don't know how to enjoy it. So in this case i leave it to my parents. There there. Dependence again. But as i've said i'm writing an itinerary just so i could tell them my own plan. Expect mine to be messy tho.
Listening
to the aircon, and playing my playlist in full volume to try to drown the sound of the ac.
Thinking
that connecting with people who are knowledgeable and more experienced and full of wisdom, is such a lovely thing. It's surprising how a simple advice turns out to be the one you exactly need. It's comforting to know that they exist, and they don't judge, they encourage you, and bring out the best in you. You just have to be more open, and speak your heart out and listen to what they have to say.
Smelling
nothing.
Wishing
i'm working! But i'm "not allowed" to work today like it's a crime heol.
Hoping
for a fun filled? vacation.
Wearing
i'm supposed to be in my uniform! But heol.
Loving
this view in front of me.
Not the books coz i'm not reading any of them, but that giant lollipop lying on top. I am so careful not to unwrap it yet coz i so love looking at it for now. Besides i still have a few sticks left from the smaller one i opened. Thanks to the ever sweet and thoughtful Dr. Farah for this.
Wanting
to write about the team building that took place recently. And all the weekend nights we spent out to celebrate a friend's birthday, a farewell party, a wedding anniversary. But they've all piled up in my head and i'm not in the mood to write about them anymore. And i want to post some videos here but my phone might explode. Yes you're right i'm using my phone to write. So here's just the summary.
*Limbert's birthday.
*Mon and Rachel's farewell party.
*Ate Jane's and kuya Jep's wedding anniv.
*Team building.
Needing
more caffeine to survive today, coz i'm literally dying of boredom. I also need to iron my uniform, wash my shoes, organize my closet, eat something. Ahh so today sounds busy really?!
Feeling
unemployed?! Feverish. Strange. Okay bored. Honestly a day off is something i don't ask for, or something i need, coz i'm totally okay with my routine. But pls since you're giving me it, just let me have my Friday off back and i could thank heavens for that. Why on a Sunday!
Clicking
the playlist, blogger, Facebook.
P.S.
I feel lost most of the time, and i feel like i haven't achieved anything. Everything that's happening feels like getting me nowhere, but i pray i figure it all out sooner or later. And really...i'm trying to find and pick myself up over and over again. And i hope to make myself proud one day...
