Not your ordinary women

●Tell you about my Lola. I remember as a kid i would hunt spiders in her ginger garden. One time I was earnestly searching for the prized insect when she caught me in the act. She looked sooo angry and i was sooo scared that i couldn't move in fear of stepping on her treasured plants and horrified by the thought of being spanked. "Nanay-am" was all i said. Nanay-am means Lola or Granny btw. "Come here", she said. I moved towards her nearly in tears. The next thing i knew i was pulling out grass by her command, she's standing next to me, hands on her hips, and scolding forever. As a kid i thought it was the worst punishment for my mistake, but despite that, my grandmother was the most gentle, loving, caring, selfless granny of all. I could never thank her enough for everything she did for me and my brothers, for all her sacrifices and heartaches, for her endless love... I miss you so much Nanay-am 😭.

●I remember spending time in our old nipa hut, reading letters and christmas and mother's day cards from my aunts in America and Canada. I didn't have knowledge about those places then, i just knew they were far away. But the distance meant nothing for their letters made them feel closer. Mostly they wrote letters to my granny and my father. They would send post cards and photographs too. Those days were really nostalgic. Thinking about how digital the world is nowadays, i think it's still more valuable and meaningful when something is personally handwritten...it brings more warmth and the message feels more genuine. My aunts are wonderful people i could say. They sent us to school, supported our dreams and aspirations in life, forgave our shortcomings, and they continue to inspire us to this day. May we continue the legacy.

●My mother left to work abroad when i was 8. Honestly i didn't care that much because I couldn't understand the situation. She came home after 2 years and it was when i cried so hard. I realized how much i missed her, how i was deprived of a mother. She missed a lot of happenings in my life...my graduation in elementary, high school, and university, my birthdays, my first menstrual period, my exciting experiences, my stories. I had some hate issues to be honest. That was all i thought for many years. It was only later on, in my growing and maturity process, that i realized i missed a lot in her life too. This is a bit heartbreaking. How i failed to make her feel she's loved, to tell her she's wonderful, that she's beautiful inside out. How i hurt her many times for being stubborn, for answering her back, for not asking how she is. How painful she must have felt when she's sick, how lonely she must have been for all these years. How i never thank her for being my first teacher, for working so hard, for enduring sleepless nights. I am sorry for not being your dream daughter 😭. We missed most of each other's life, yet you always make me understand how things are. Thank you for everything and i love you.

●My bible teacher...how are you doing? It's been a while...a long while that i can't remember when we last studied together. I wasn't a good student i know, but you were very good and patient with me. I am sorry that i always made excuses when i was lazy to study, for skipping important meetings, for not replying to your messages. How i took your kindness for granted. You never gave up on me, and i have learned a lot. Thank you for helping me grow spiritually. I hope to see you soon 😊.

●I first worked with Dr. Farah on July 6, 2017, with her british patient for office bleaching. You remember doc? Never mind hahaha. I just find it funny that she is normal and i'm weird and vice versa- we make a good team in this sense ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ. She is a wonderful person. She is cool and highly intellectual and generous. I'm just proud that i know someone like her. Dokie! Thank you for teaching me, for enlighthening me about the things i can't understand, for the advice, for trusting me. There's this personal fact i learned. I think it's a beautiful thing- to come to love your work, not because of interest to be honest...but because of people who make you look forward to it everyday. They give some sort of inspiration, they release such a positive spirit just by their presence... no words, no actions needed. They make you believe in yourself with a simple pat on your shoulder, or just by saying "you can do it". They help you see the brighter side of life ❤.

●To the old friends Anne and Chelsea, who are great mothers to their kids and are sisters to me. Remember the time you tagged me along on your dates, when you allowed me to sleepover when i was so lonely, or when you brought me to new places...i really treasure those moments. Tho we had some misunderstandings and we don't have constant communication, you're in my heart always. Thank you for keeping up with my bipolar periods, for always forgiving me and correcting my mistakes. You guys made me discover a lot of things, you helped me grow socially, you taught me so many things. I miss you.

●Hello Kim! My adopted sister, my friend, my teacher as well. You spent many years teaching me how to cook, but i never learned. I'm sorry about that, but thank you for always trying. You are one of a kind. You are strong and wise, and you are a great sister. You just don't know how many times you saved my life, how you filled what's missing, how you did things for my sake. Thank you so much Kim. See you at home!