The Sunday Currently | 33

Had to double check if it's really Sunday today, for I am not oriented to days and dates anymore. My work schedule confirms it. Time flies fast. Even November is almost over, or is there even such month this year? Just a year ago i was spending most of my hours at home and at work and i never thought one day i'd be where i am right now. How's home? How are the people i used to work with? How are my brothers? It's been a year, and i remember i only talked to them on the phone twice. Yeah, twice in one year. Because they know i don't really talk, and they understand, and they don't pressure me to do so, and i love them for that. I miss them though. So much. And one of the reasons why i don't call them is because i miss them so much. It makes sense. When you miss people, you try to avoid hearing their voice because it will make you feel homesick. It will make you feel sad and lonely. Or is it only in my case?

Today calls for some coffee before getting the day started. Because it's goin to be quite tough. My schedule shows i'm working for 10 hours.

Two weeks without days off and 10 hours to start the 3rd week...how is that? No complains, just let it be. But honestly i was wishing it's different. Maybe something lighter, something familiar... But i can't do anything about it. And so today might start like the weather...gloomy. But it could change to something positive, something good, something inspiring. Let it be!

Currently, I am...

Reading
nothing for weeks? or months? We went to a bookstore last Thursday but all i purchased were pens and a sketchpad.

Writing
this post and finishing the draft that i've been writing forever. It's finished actually, but it feels like i'm waiting for a sign to finally post it.

Listening
to the sound of a jackhammer in the neighbourhood.

Thinking
that i want to draw again. It's been a year. Yes. When i left for abroad, it seemed like i also left everything i enjoyed doing behind. I miss reading, i mean the real kind of reading, when you indulge into a good book, when you learn and discover something new, when you share what you have read. I miss sketching too. All my arts stuff were left home, sadly. And for months i hesitated to buy new materials because i miss my old ones. I am not sure if my hands will work the same way but trying again won't hurt.

Smelling
the cola flavored lollipop that Dr. Farah gave me. Such a sweet and thoughtful human ♥. Yeah i'm having it now after finishing my coffee. It helps when you start the day filling your system with your favorite things...bitter or sweet. See it's something to be grateful for despite of the things i'm whining about.

Wishing
it rains today! I know it will be really cold thereafter but i miss the rain! I miss using the umbrella too kkkkkk

Hoping
everybody enjoys the whole week. In whatever ways.

Wearing
a warm oversized shirt. Because it's getting cold for real i feel it to my bones.

Loving
the temperature! One good thing about winter is that it makes people get closer. Like coffee and conversation, more time spent indoors, random hugs...

Wanting
to eat spicy noodles the entire week. Really.

Needing
some sort of good activity...I need to figure that out.

Feeling
sleepy and lazy and the thought of having a cold shower kills me. So i am thinking of having another cup of coffee in the shower.

Clicking
Messenger. The youngest brother checks on me regularly and it melts my heart.




Take care everyone!

When it's more than just under the weather

Health was never my priority but I've never really questioned my well being. Like normal humans, i do get sick, but only once in a blue moon. I've always been confident that i was generally healthy and physiologically immune to illnesses. Yet last week's malady got me crawling in my deathbed. I doubted myself then. It was, as far as my entire existence was concerned, the worst period of my life ever (in a health status point of view). I caught a cold. Yeah, a common cold or flu? or whatsoever. It's not my first time to get a cold! But my first time to experience the worst feeling of having a cold. Just few days before that i sent an emoticon to my mother. A "sick" emoticon. But i was very okay at that time. She thought i was sick and i told her i just wanted to sleep for 3 days straight. 2 days later i started sneezing but i thought it's a normal response to the cold temperature at work and outdoors since winter was approaching. A day after i felt abnormally cold and i felt like my chest was tightening. At night after dinner i suddenly had chills. I felt my entire body was burning and that heat was escaping from my eyes and ears. I cried so hard because the feeling was really really bad. My roommate then gave me paracetamol which i took hesitantly, and i started sweating minutes later. I felt better and was asleep in no time. The next day i woke up very ill again. I couldn't explain how i was feeling. I was shivering, everything was hurting from head to toe, i was short of breath, my throat was very sore, my head felt very heavy, my body felt like floating and i felt very very tired. My knees were aching so hard that going to the bathroom was a real struggle. I still went to work tho. I thought i'd be okay eventually. But after 2 hours i had chills again and it was hard to breath. A coworker accompanied me to a doctor who assessed and asked few questions. Then she prescribed different kinds of meds. In the Philippines i almost never took meds for anything.
I had to ask for a sick leave that day because i couldn't stand it anymore and I thought i'd pass out. I started taking the meds and slept the entire time and i actually felt much better the next morning. I went to work again and felt very much back at my system.
But at night i had the same episode of chills and fever again and my joints felt so tender it was very painful to move. All i wanted was to stay in bed and never move again. I felt my head was like going to burst. I didn't go to work the next day but i didn't feel rested. I wanted my mother, i wanted to buy a plane ticket and fly back home, or i wanted to die. Feverish people think of foolish things they say, just as i did. I lay in bed the whole day, weeping and aching, no appetite, no strength to do anything. At night i was awakened by uncontrollable cough and high fever and i thought my life was going to end.
The next 2 days i went to work feeling the same but i didn't care anymore what's gonna happen. I said i was going to die anyway so better use my remaining life being productive. Being sick was a real setback, especially for me who is very much on my feet all the time. I don't mind if I have a day off or not, or if miss things because of work.
After few days of continuously taking the meds and my roommates forcing me to eat, i started to get better and feel better. Thinking about what i went through, i realized maybe i took my health for granted. I was always doing something and i never felt tired. I easily felt guilty when i just let time pass unproductively.
I am not a workaholic. I just get that sense of satisfaction when i do something, big or small, so i always want to keep going. Or when somebody needs a hand or something needs to be done which means sacrificing my rest, i don't give a second thought.
I don't know if my experiance was a lesson meant to be learned, but i'm back on my feet again. Maybe i just have to be a little more cautious and conscious of my health. Have to practice on this one.