The Sunday Currently | 13

Silence, chilly morning, fast food, novels... lovin Sundays this way. How many times have i spent Sundays alone? Countless times and i love how it lets me focus on myself, i mean not entirely, because when i'm alone i also think about how others are doing...the family and friends. I'm so accustomed to this. I think, being by oneself but not feeling lonely is a beautiful thing. 

Currently I am...

Reading 
the plot of 'The Same Sweet Girls' and of the 2 other new novels. So tis how i read nowadays, just a page or two and even before i could finish i'm already thinking what i should read next. What a habit. So i can't call it reading right? What's the right term for that. 

Writing 
The Sunday Currently 13 and a short note am gonna give to Beverly. If she happens to read this it's no surprise anymore. Actually i don't like surprising people just as i don't like being surprised. By the way the note says "I'm sweet". It's edible yeah. 

Listening 
to 'Things I Fancy' by Daniela Andrade~~~

Thinking
of ways to make the first day of February productive. But just the thought of tomorrow makes me feel lazy already. 

Smelling 
the fabcon on my shirt ~_~ #downypamore hahaha

Wishing 
to stop being lazy. So lazy to read and draw and clean my room. I admit i'm the laziest person on earth now. 

Hoping
to wake up not feeling groggy tomorrow. How could i not expect that when i know am gonna sleep late and my alarm is set at 5:30?...

Wearing 
white hoody, jagger pants, brown sneakers and brown cap. 

Loving
the weather and the feeling that urges me to write religiously especially on weekends when i feel guilty wasting my free time. Let this feeling last pls. 

Wanting
to go home now and just lie down and wrap myself in a blanket, but i still have something to do out here. 

Needing
a new USB. I need to transfer all the videos i downloaded because the one am using is the company's. Mine is already full. 

Feeling 
my head and eyes so heavy. 

Clicking 
Facebook again! Why can't i be addicted to books instead of Facebook! ugh




"There are times when alone is the best place to be."©

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Our girl~~~

here's your photo when you were a day old...

Howdy? I'm here thinkin of you again. You had to go somewhere far and we couldn't spend much time together. It saddens me. But back then you didn't know what was going on, because you were barely 2 years old. Your mom (my adopted sister) decided to have her own family, and we had to be apart. It was one of the saddest day ever. It still hurts, but i understood your mom. We wanted her to be happy too. 

Seeing you again after a year, I thought you wouldn't recognize me. But when you ran to my arms all the longings faded. You remembered me like we were apart only yesterday. 

You are the family's baby forever. I miss you so much. I miss you every day. If only you were here, we would love to see you grow up and enjoy the simple pleasures in life. I want to teach you how to write and read and draw. I would be the happiest to teach you everything, and to protect you from the harsh world. 

We're not related but i just love you deeply, little girl. You brought us so much delight. You were one of the greatest gifts in the family. I can never forget your first cry when you were born, the first time you opened your eyes, the first time you grasped my finger, the first time you smiled, the first time you lifted your head, the first time i changed your diaper, the first time i taught you to walk, your first words...everything. 

You started to talk at 14 months and you would call me by my nickname (nene). You were the sweetest. You were also the most adorable for you would cry seeing me leave the house for a while. You would always want to walk by yourself just when i wanted to carry you. 

You were the daughter i never had, just as your mom was the sister i never had. I pray for the day to come when we will all be together again. 

I miss you this small. 

P.S. Whenever i hear your voice over the phone, i can't help but laugh. You speak a different dialect now. But even though we sound foreign to each other, our hearts understand : ).  

I love you forever, Tanya. Take care little one. ❤❤❤

The Sunday Currently | 12

It's Sunday once again, which means many things to me...things to do, to think, to make, to expect, to dream, and just anything in spontaneity. A very early morning start made me yawning the entire day. However i also couldn't let this day pass without witnessing the biggest event in the city. Today was Dinagyang Festival! 

Yes. You know already what it means...generously decorated streets, food stalls, souvenir booths, locals and foreigners, heat, traffic, the crowd, loud music, henna tattoo, friends, families, and of course Street dance! Now after a long and tiring day i'm stuck here wanting to document everything i saw and i did today but my brain is kinda exhausted, so i'm just writing my TSC. 

Currently I am...

Reading 

the history of Inca Empire. Oh my, why am i reading this all of a sudden... Something's wrong with me. 

Writing 

The Sunday Currently 12.

Listening 

to Christian Bautista's songs ♪ ♫♪ ♫. I love him. I love you.

Thinking

if i should eat PODS or not. It's right in front of me right now. 

Smelling 

my shirt. Smells like smoke! The food stalls grilling meat were everywhere today. Must take a much needed bath when i get home kkk. 

Wishing 

for the next day to wake up without an alarm. But even without it i automatically wake up the same time each morning. I just wish i could sleep longer without my body clock interrupting it. 

Hoping

for days filled with love and peace for everyone.

Wearing 

white tee, shorts, red sneakers and red cap. 

Loving

the city's atmosphere. It just feels cheery at the moment because of the festival kkk

Wanting

to finish the landscape drawing I've started two days ago but i'm just so tired. 

Needing

sleep! And a good cup of iced coffee before going to bed! Please : (

Feeling 

tired but good because i got to spend time with Autumn and Lovely again. Somehow missing the other company but i know we'll be spending time anytime soon. 

Clicking 

Facebook, and YouTube videos again and again and again. 

Hanging out with old friends and saying "remember when..."©

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The Sunday Currently | 11

Feelin like January is over...how to catch up with the time's pace???

Currently I am...

Reading
"That Summer" by Andrew Greig. I promised myself not to buy any novels this month but the title just seems so interesting. And i don't know now what to do with the other novels i didn't finish reading after scanning a couple of pages of 'em.

Writing 
this entry and rewriting my drafts again and again. I'm so easily distracted by internet and social media i just can't finish what I've been promising myself to get done. You know i see a lot of videos, photos , gossips and so on and i'm stuck on those for hours.

Listening 
to Yiruma again~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~.........................................

Thinking
of buying something for my youngest brother. He's not celebrating a special day or whatsoever. I just think that he'd be glad (of course) if he receives something on a random day. Also wishin to watch dinagyang with him ^ ^

Smelling 
nothing atm.

Wishing
my family and friends all the goodness in life. Safety, peace, good health, love for everybody.

Hoping
for a good week ahead.

Wearing
light gray shirt with "love you with all of my heart" print on it, a cap and black socks too.

Loving
today's Daily scripture text: Let each one keep seeking, not his own advantage, but that of the other person.—1 Cor. 10:24.

Wanting
to buy soft pastel and brushes...but, could somebody just give me those things???

Needing
nothing material. Just guidance, motivation, purpose...and to know what to prioritize.

Feeling 
happy for my good friends Lovely and Autumn. The two are so madly in-love with their boyfriends. So cool! hahaha

Clicking 
Facebook, and YouTube vids.



"The best feeling of happiness is when you're happy because you've made somebody else happy." ©

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Dear Judith

Dear Judith,

While i was choosing my clothes to wear this morning i remembered you all of a sudden. I don't know why, just suddenly you popped into my mind. 11 years ago we met and we instantly became very close friends. We were high school sophomores back then. We were the exact opposite. You were very talkative and outgoing and noisy, while i was quiet and reserved and hesitant. But i just loved the way you were. We lost contact when i went to university, and i didn't have any idea if you went to college too, since we couldn't communicate by any  means as we didn't have cellphone or telephone. I also didn't know your exact address, and i was sure you didn't know mine too. It's just funny that we never bothered to ask each other. 

I can still remember one day you came to my house. You didn't know my address right? But you said you just asked some people in town if they knew my father, and they helped you find my place. You came to ask permission from my father if i could go with you to your house next town. I can't remember exactly, but i guess you just wanted me to see your place. You're so thoughtful. And the fact that you really tried to find my place was just amazing. It was very very far! Anyway, my father allowed me to go with you because he didn't want to embarrass or disappoint you. 

We took a tricycle and jeepney and another tricycle. We walked in the rice fields under the heat, and we trekked from the foot of the mountain to the top, and we walked through the woods, and we passed by a brook. Damn, i needed to breath. You didn't tell me how it was to get there! But there's no going back. I knew how hard it was for you to go to my place too. 

When we got to your house i was warmly greeted by your mother and relatives. I felt at home. We talked and laughed and just relaxed. We also ate steamed bananas or sweet potato? I was so happy. 

We shared a lot of good memories ^ ^. I only saw you again about 3 years ago at the hospital where  i was doing my volunteer work. I wasn't sure if it was you, but i stared at you for a long time. You stared back and i knew right away...i felt right away it was really you. Judith, my good friend, i wanted to cry at that time. It was so nice to see you again. I realized i missed you so much. You said you're already married to a German guy and you showed me a picture of your cute baby son. I was so proud and happy for you. You also said you battled against cancer (i forgot what kind of CA), but you were healed then. I forgot to ask your number but i added you in Facebook kkkkk. 

How are you doing nowadays? I'm missing you again, my good friend. I pray you're always doing great and having a good time. I hope your mother is doing well too. Take care. I love you. 




Rish

The Sunday Currently | 10

Tis the first Sunday Currently entry this year and I want to make it at least more interesting to read for the benefit of myself. But! Nothing really interesting is happening right now, so, okay, fine, go ahead, just write...

Currently I am...

Reading 

the 'scriptures daily' booklet that my bible teacher gave me. 

Writing 

the Sunday Currently 10, and things to add on my try-to-do-list.  

Listening 

to Yiruma's piano pieces for an hour now.

Thinking

about what to draw for art class later. Sometimes i think drawing itself isn't that hard, but thinking what to draw, is.

Smelling 

nothing...

Wishing 

just happiness for people around me and my parents and siblings, because when they are happy it brings good vibes...and i couldn't ask for more. 

Hoping

for a good and peaceful and productive week ahead. 

Wearing 

blue shirt,  faded blue shorts and dark brown flip flops.

Loving

the pencil and pastel drawings i'm scanning on the internet. 

Wanting

to accomplish my try-to-do-list. I used to make resolutions in the past but didn't keep the promise, so the list of things i wrote down are quite easy ones so there couldn't be any excuse not to fulfill them. 

Needing

to be more discreet with things i do and decisions i make. Nowadays i'm realizing that though i'm old enough, i'm no good at many things. I usually need a wise advice from an experienced person and when even when applying the counsels i get, i need constant supervision. I used to rely on myself before but now i feel i'm becoming dependent. I don't know if it's helping me to grow, i just know i'm appreciating good old friends and family more than before. 

Feeling 

sorry that i complain about many things. : ( 

Clicking 

Facebook, music videos, blogger.

Sunday, January 10. "Faith is the assured, expectation of what is hoped for."---Heb. 11:1.

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Try-to-do list

It's easy to fall out of the habit of doing things that are quite useful to me...coz it's hard to make them a habit. Now making a list of things i wanna do and not to, and makin sure they're easy for me to do so. My previous year was loaded with crazy/useless/careless stuff, and they gave me instant satisfaction which apparently didn't last long. What i wish to happen now is, maybe, continue or avoid doing those things with the notion that they are giving me a long term benefit. 

• cut down on coffee intake (from 5 cups to 2 or 3 a day)
• eat less junks
• only buy books that i'm sure i'm going to read (most of the books i bought last year are left untouched till now)
• read those unread books 
• wake up early
• smile everyday kkkkk
• learn how to cook
• don't skip meals
• be more dedicated in doing things, big or small
• communicate with family members more often
• avoid procrastination (tis one's really hard, but i gotta try)
• give and share what i have to the needy
• read the "daily scriptures" booklet daily
• be more open with my feelings to my parents
• use Facebook less often
• be more patient
• no beer...less beer
• love my brothers more
• continue learning Hangul
• commend others for doing a good job
• avoid cursing or using bad words
• visit my hometown once or twice a month
• keep in touch with my sister more often
• keep in touch with old friends
• be more physically active
• stop being an impulse buyer
• look at the  brighter side of being a Filipino
• care for nature
• love arts more
• be a good girl
• be more appreciative
• take volunteer work seriously
• be true to myself
• motivate myself and others in everything we do
• write about anything on my free time
• clean the house regularly
• be more respectful
• pray regularly

A lot more to include in the list next time kkkkkkkkk

simple joys

Can't help but smile. The thing i once thought would be a burden and was difficult to do is now something that makes me feel extra happy...at least. Just got my first paycheck from teaching drawing. Hahaha but wait! It's not actually about the money (since basically this kind of job doesn't pay much kkk). It's this nice feeling i get from sharing a bit of skill to someone and knowing that she's learning from me, and the fact that my dormant skill is coming back to life again. Hahaha. I haven't drawn for a long time, but because i'm given a task to teach arts, i kinda pressure myself to practice not only for my student but for myself as well. Now i'm loving it, am loving drawing again. 

*babaw ko...kkkkk

* I won't be teaching for long, just taking advantage of things that make me feel good in the meantime kkk

~_~

It's already the third of January and it's just too fast for me. It's hard to keep up with the pace, i feel like before i could start doing something, 24-hour has ended. My family didn't do anything special. New year was just like the usual and ordinary day for us, except that my father prepared some 'quite special' dishes for lunch and dinner. For the first time in so many years, only the three of us welcomed the new year. It was different from all the other new years because most of the family members were away. The house was so silent, we didn't wait for midnight anymore to watch the fireworks (which we used to do before). After having dinner, i just locked myself in my room and watched videos, after then i felt quite bored so i organized the books on my desk, and i also sketched some pictures. I fell asleep on my desk and i woke up to the sound of my phone. It's 2 am and my brother just sent a message, asking what we were doing. We didn't exchange messages for long but because i couldn't fall asleep again, i just sat on the floor and continued sketching. 

I spent the entire day of January first cleaning our house, washing the dishes, watering the plants in our small garden, eating and taking a nap. I decided to go back to the city at 5:00. On my way i sent a message to my bible teacher that i was meeting her. I hadn't visited her for a long time which i had always felt sad about. I had just been too lazy and pretended to be always busy, and for that i felt sorry for not replying to her every messages. 

We ate dinner together and had a good long talk. We had a lot of catching up to do. It's heartwarming how she could understand me despite everything, even when i wasn't saying a word. My life these days is just hard, but i don't know where the burden comes from. I mean, everything doesn't make sense to me, i can't understand myself, i don't know what to do. I am scared. It's scary to take a step thinking that one wrong move could lead to trouble...maybe it's just the paranoia in me, or it's the real external scene that i am so afraid to encounter and take risk. 

My teacher shared her words of wisdom and encouragement. I had a lot of realizations. In everything that i do, i should always, if possible, do so in a righteous manner, and continue taking in the spiritual food and live by the scriptural principles.

Still, i don't know where to start and my mind is full of uncertainties. I am just hoping... praying that things will turn out well.