The Sister I Never Had

First, let me say, I love you and I miss you. It's been about 2 years since you left as you had to carry out your responsibilities as a mother and wife. Some days, sadness hit me big. You are too far away and I am not just dreaming. Somehow we grew up together but suddenly we're apart. I find it terribly unhappy that we haven't talked for a long time, we don't even write or call each other. Or whenever you call i always hang up because i just can't hold my tears. I'm sorry about that. How it often takes me a long time to compose a message for you, but it takes me just seconds to delete it because i feel like it doesn't make sense. I don't want to bother you.  

You're the sister i never had. My existence has changed forever when you came into our life 15 years ago. A complete stranger and not related by blood, you were among many people who have impacted my life greatly. Today isn't special but it throws back our vivid memories together, all our squabbles and fights,  misunderstandings, our happy and sad and crazy times...all that i will never get tired of remembering. 

We were never perfect sisters. I wasn't always good to you and you were not a sweet girl either, in fact you were actually stubborn, but i never wished we were both good because that would be so boring! You added color to my world. I can't thank you enough for all the things you did for me. I don’t even think I ever did thank you. You know i wasn't the kind of sister you had ever wanted, but you always tried to understand my imperfection. Thank you for everything. If it weren't for you, who knows how long i would've grown up still shy and fainthearted all the time. I wouldn't be me without you. You also made me look into a simpler aspect, for you too are a very simple person. My life wasn't normal like any other child, but because of your presence my life was decorated. 

We don't share the same DNA. But our relationship is beyond what is connected by blood. I am better than you in some things, you know that, haha. But i envy you a lot. You are brave, you are strong, you are good at cooking and drawing, you're never shy, you're confident. You are married and you have wonderful kids. I may be older, but i could talk to you about most things. I'm so proud of you. 

Do you think of me too? The certainty that we will meet again is quite obscure for now. I know your life is not easy, so I pray that you may be given more strength, good health and happiness. Thank you for being a sister and a friend to me. Someday, somewhere, when we get a chance to meet again, let's spend a longer time together. Not only 15 years.