Tama na yan

"...came up remembering the good old days we had..."
"I just miss you. I miss us. But i know we can't fix a broken glass anymore."

Strange...weird...awkward. Every time you send me a message that's how i honestly feel. It's been a while, but it's apparent that you haven't moved on yet. You're still clinging to the past. 

Frankly. We can't be the same friends like before. I can't force my feelings back. I can't fake my emotions. You had been good, but, you became very restrictive...possessive...i couldn't breath anymore. 

Many times i wanted to ask you, what exactly have i done wrong? But trying to answer my own question, i couldn't figure out a reasonable answer. Because i couldn't see anything wrong with "meeting other people", and "enjoying by myself" without you sometimes. You were doing the same and i didn't mind! 

I understood how you felt when you once said 'you're left out'.

I understood you sensed some kind of rivalry.

I understood you thought i ignored you after meeting new friends. 

But you're wrong. I was still there, always there. I still spent time with you while I broadened my social circle. Sometimes i just wanted to be by myself. But you emphasized that friends should always be together. You had a different principle. I had mine. If i chose not to tell you what i was doing, it's my right. You had that right too. But you failed to distinguish the difference between lying and not telling. You should have understood that we each had our own lives and we didn't revolve around the same person only. 

What exactly did you want to happen? What did you want me to do? You didn't answer that, instead you pointed out what i had done that didn't appeal to you.

"until now i can't figure out how our friendship was broken easily and continuously freezing"...

Simply because we are not perfect. From a very small thing, the misunderstanding grew bigger. You hated me. The hurtful words and lies against me got me scared. I didn't deserve that. But i didn't say anything. Because i wanted everything to just stop. I isolated myself because the verbal malice i got was just too painful. I got tired of explaining the same things over and over again. I believed i didn't do anything wrong, but you insisted it's my fault that the friendship drifted away. 

And when i kept silent for a long time you started to keep in touch again. What now? I can't make heads or tails of it. You always say you miss the times we're together, you were hurt, you want to see me happy... I'm telling you, forget about me. There are many people out there you can make friends with. They are much better.

For once, please stop thinking about the past anymore if it hurts you. Stop the what ifs and whys. Let go of bad thoughts. We can't change what had happened. Don't be too hard on yourself. 

I don't want to settle in the past. Let's give each other freedom.