It’s a gloomy chilly afternoon and I am writing from the office chair at the second floor of this alien building, using this alien desktop, and there’s aliens everywhere. Being abducted to this place feels like i’ve been born again. Quite literally. Good grief. I had to start from scratch, but a stubborn that i am, i am not starting from scratch. The least i could do is to continue what little i have started, try to connect things maybe, or transition. No, maybe no. Just sail with the current, either i drift or learn how to swim. I don’t like any shift no more!
The little thing i appreciate this past week is the weather. The last three days had scattered precipitation that somehow tapered off the sunshine if you’ve noticed. T’was gloomy all week. The temperature dropped significantly in my opinion, i don’t rely on forecast lol. I rely on how my body reacts to the temperature, when it’s cold, i say it’s winter. When it’s hot, it’s summer lol.
I love rain, I’m a pluviophile. There’s something magical about it. Never the same kind of rain but always gives you the same warm feeling. There’s something peaceful about it despite its sound. Plus while the rain falls, everywhere seems void of aliens.
I am disoriented these days. The routine changed quite suddenly. It’s not anymore like waking up in the morning and knowing what’s up for the day, not anymore like knowing what to do even with eyes closed. These days it’s all about anxiety and not even wanting to close your eyes or else you’ll miss one thing and screw everything up.
Seriously enough, i miss home! I miss coming home to my parents and telling on the people who screwed my day. I am getting a little sappy now, but i have to compose myself. (Aliens are passing by in front of my desk at the moment).
Life is changed by having responsibilities. I always tell myself i want to change, so i have to be responsible, learning simple stuff to start with. But honestly i cannot imagine how i am going to look after my aging parents *cries* when i cannot even cook *cries*, or i cannot even do basic carpentry, i cannot even go to places without getting lost. Years ago i bought this DIY book which i am pretty sure will come in handy in the future. I at least have this thought which makes me feel responsible. You see the Halo over my head?
These days i have the luxury to enjoy the little things. I read or write when i want to. I take time to drink my coffee and have 5 sticks of lollipops in a row, or listen to music. I absolutely love music. I am actually listening to my playlist now on low volume, writing, remembering the good old days, sipping coffee that i had to hide under the desk, and just appreciating this gloomy day.
Sometimes, a bit too often, i miss working til i’m breathless. Most importantly i miss working with people i share the same values with. I seem to always complain about how life is, but i do appreciate the little things:
Writing, even just a little.
Reading what i told myself will never read (currently reading The Da Vinci Code)
The park next to this alien building where i can take a walk.
The instrumental music playing all day.
This beautiful weather.
